That Mean Voice In Your Head Is Not You. It's Just a Goblin
Explains a lot, actually
📝 Mentions (not in order): Goblins; PFAS in the brains of fish; the miracle that is your existence; goblin genealogy and ideology (a bit); scrotums; deforestation; terrible meals in residential homes; there’s way more swearing in this one but I just can’t help it today; there’s also a point where I literally need to stop and breathe or I might cry with incandescent fury mixed with disbelief; etc.
You need to try harder. Yes, you, who do you think I'm talking to? You're the failure. You're not doing enough. You're embarrassing. A disappointment. You are way behind everyone else. Can't you do better than this? Why can't you get it together like everyone else?
You are the worst parent/ sibling/ child /janitor/ accountant /friend /bookclub organiser/ partner / cook / boss / driver / second wife/ candlestick-maker that there ever was, EVER, and and and and …
We all have that voice in our head.
Right now the voice in my head is saying “This idea is stupid. Just like you, stupid face with your pointless, stupid life and you shouldn’t be stupid writing it on the stupid internet you should be trying to get someone to love you”
The voice is never satisfied, no matter what we do, change, acquire or accomplish.
We think the voice is us — but it's not
A lot of us think this voice is a part of us. Like: the disciplined part, that needs to be uncovered and followed. We think it's the part of us that sees what it takes to 'succeed' in society and just wants to whip us into shape, so we can reach our “potential”.
A lot of us think that —although this part of us is quite mean in its delivery— it has to be because we are so shit and lazy. It needs to be firm.
A lot of us think that this part of us just wants the best for us and has to be harsh because, let’s face it, we're a mess. So we’re told. By the voice.
But that voice is not some inner part of you.
It’s not a deep, wise part of you trying to help you thrive through tough love.
It doesn’t know you.
It doesn’t care about you.
It’s not your inner wisdom or your truth.
That voice isn’t anything to do with you at all.
That voice doesn't even know who you are.
Who is this darn voice then, Siobhán, get on with it already
HAH! There it is. That voice said that, because the voice is always impatient.
That voice is the Neoliberal Logic Goblin. Let's call them Nibby.
Meet the Neoliberal Logic Goblin
The Neoliberal Logic Goblin came into existence like, of course, all goblins do — as the cherished offspring of powerful cultural ideologies.
Nibby's parents are Cappy and Ruthy (full names: Capitalist Values Goblin and Ruthless Individualism Goblin) and little Nibby inherited their parents ideologies and interests — such as an obsession with profits, endless growth, measuring success in numbers and data, fetishising self-reliance and competition, and seeing connection and community as weaknesses.
Nibby has also been influenced by many of their goblin cousins, especially Shorty and Colly**. We'll perhaps meet them another time. We must press on before Nibby is yelling too much.
**(Short-Term Thinking Goblin and Colonial Mindset Goblin, obvs)
All of these influences mean that The Neoliberal Logic Goblin is...how do I say this... quite a mean little shitbag.
Nibby loves the idea that everything—your health, happiness, success—is your personal responsibility. Nibby tells you that if you just work hard enough, smart enough, long enough, you’ll get what you want. And if you don’t….that’s on you, too, because you're a massive, ugly, ridiculous failure that probably should just die.
The goblin isn't just born, then jumps in your mind and says mean things to you for 73 years
The Neoliberal Logic Goblin didn’t originate in your mind. Oh, no.
Nibby likes a lot of space to roam and influence. Nibby thrives in governments, corporations, schools, workplaces, and media. Nibby's voice is the one shaping policies that prioritise profit over people, efficiency over care, and competition over collaboration.
One example is a care home. The Neoliberal Logic Goblin ensures budgets are cut to maximise profits at the expense of residents’ well-being. I have seen this myself. The residents are eating absolute crap.
Another example is in the clear-cutting of forests, justified by Nibby because trees are worth more as timber than as the miraculous life-sustaining providers of oxygen that trees are (among the other amazing gifts of trees such as shade, nutrients, supports, habitats to countless other species and a bazillion other amazing things).
When a society is shaped by the voice of the Neoliberal Logic Goblin, is it any wonder the voice seeps into us, too?
Ideas, thoughts, values, stories, logic—they’re like PFAS chemicals (those 'forever' chemicals / microplastics) we keep hearing about. They’re everywhere: in the brains of animals, in fish that live in the bottom of the ocean, in our breast milk.
When our environment is saturated with something, it inevitably gets inside us.
Like the Neoliberal Logic Goblin, who has saturated our governments, corporations, schools, media. When Nibby touches everything we come into contact with, it’s no wonder their goblinish* neoliberal logic seeps into our internal world.
(D’you like goblinish as my made up word? Other options were gobliocious or goblinicious)
Nibby tells you to keep going even when you’re burnt out, even when your body and mind and soul yearn for rest. Nibby tells you that slowing down means falling behind and certain failure.
Nibby blames you if you’re struggling, keeping you trapped in guilt, self-doubt, and the endless cycle of trying to prove your worth. You’re lazy. You're weak. You're a quitter.
Nibby, as I said, is a mean little shitbag.
But how did Nibby get in your mind? You're nice!
You might be wondering how The Neoliberal Logic Goblin ended up in YOUR mind when you don’t even want to work hard—you want to rest (but you can't just yet as you need to work to afford luxuries like food and shelter).
And you’d never prioritise profits over nutritious meals in a care home.
So why is Nibby in your head at all?
Nibby is in the minds of all of us. It’s nothing personal.
But if you’ve read this far, I’m guessing Nibby is pretty darn loud and persistent in your mind. That’s because you don’t easily or readily serve the neoliberal logic that is this goblin’s very name and identity. The Neoliberal Logic Goblin is loud because you’re the kind of person who wouldn’t serve cheap, crappy food at a care home to boost profits for faceless shareholders.
If you’re kind, creative, or community-focused—qualities that don’t align easily with neoliberal ideals—Nibby has to work harder to get your attention. Nibby will yell and criticise and poke you all the time.
This, by the way, explains why 100% of the people I work with are really bloody lovely, principled, creative, nice human beings. Nibby targets them because they don’t fit the mould. This is why I never work with assholes—not because I wouldn't, but because they don't need someone like me helping them to feel less anxious and more at ease in a world that often feels quite excruciating.
(I talk about this a ton in this podcast episode)
Assholes** are quite comfortable here. They already serve Nibby just fine, so Nibby isn't yelling in their ear about how worthless they are. Quite the opposite.
**My orthodox training in western mental health and coaching methodologies (woefully insufficient for these times of course) wants to remind me that asshole is not a clinical term, but perhaps it should be if we are to even fleetingly consider decolonising these services
The Neoliberal Logic Goblin doesn’t even know you
The thing about The Neoliberal Logic Goblin is that they don't care about you. They don’t even know you. All of their judging and criticising and pushing and yelling is not personal.
Nibby doesn’t care about you or your life. It doesn't matter to Nibby whether you’re a burnt-out teacher, a stressed parent, or just someone try to scrape rent together.
Or someone in the last gasp of their thirties, making up goblin metaphors about how societal transmission shapes our everyday experiences of anxiety and overwhelm, who is still reeling from understanding their own complicity in this system, who is not entirely sure how they’re supposed to proceed...or make a living...given everything they’ve seen about the complex, entangled nature of all of this, and even as they type, Nibby is niggling them, reminding them that they are alone and unloved with no assets, prospects or accomplishments, and, and, and....
Nibby says the same generic shit to everyone who is not already servicing their logic, which is some repetitive version of "you are not enough, you suck compared to that other person, you are failing, you need to be doing more, if you are too tired to do more that is just more evidence of how shit you are, etc"
Sure, Nibby might put your name in it to make it seem personal (you suck, Siobhán) but even the free version of my Mailchimp newsletter software does that.
Nibby doesn’t know who you are. They don’t care about your unique challenges or the gifts you bring to the world. The Neoliberal Logic Goblin doesn’t want to know. They can’t know, because it has to not matter that you’re a living, complex, beautiful human being. Nibby survives by staying an unfeeling, oblivious little shitbag goblin.
The Neoliberal Logic Goblin wants you to think you are the problem (but you're not)
Nibby makes their judgements and criticisms and sneers seem personal because If you think the problem is you, you’ll focus all your energy (and money) on fixing yourself.
That’s perfect for Nibby, who thrives on individual humans being kept busy working, consuming, and striving, too tired and burnt out to wonder....just for a moment....the problem is actually not you, but ....I dunno... a FUCKING GOBLIN?
You’ll push yourself even more, try and save time here or there (maybe you'll get a life coach to help you, because don't they solve all the problems?), all while corporations extract and pollute, driving ecological collapse, governments prioritise profit over planetary and human wellbeing and communities bear the cost of systemic failures like housing crises, healthcare gaps, and climate breakdown.
Can you be free from the Neoliberal Logic Goblin?
I don't know that you can be free of Nibby, just like you cannot avoid microplastics in your scrotum, or brain, or newborn baby.
I need to seriously pause and take a breath here for how ridiculous that is. This is absolutely bonkers. What are we DOING? Please join me for a breath
Knowing that the Neoliberal Logic Goblin exists really helps.
When you realise that voice in your head:
isn’t you
isn’t the truth
isn’t just the immutable "way things are"
...something shifts. Probably imperceptibly at first, but be patient.
(Nibby hates patience).
That voice is the The Neoliberal Logic Goblin and is nothing to do with you at all.
It probably will take time, but recognising that some of your thoughts are shaped by a goblin—not wisdom, not reality, not a deeper part of yourself—can help you stop taking them so seriously.
You'll gain something priceless and precious: space.
Space to see that your worth isn’t tied to your productivity. Space to question the expectations you’ve internalised. Space to decide whether you'll listen to that voice now you know it's a goblin.
I’m not going to tell you to love the goblin, ok
Knowing the Neoliberal Logic Goblin exists can help their power over you fade. When you hear from an inner voice that you are a worthless piece of shit, it's nice to know that it's not a fact, or even an opinion from a reputable source. It's a goblin. And that goblin doesn't even have any idea of who you are, you're just a subject to serve their logic.
And.
Knowing the Neoliberal Logic Goblin is there does not mean they will go away. Although Nibby may be made of a bunch of thoughts, stories and ideologies, these do harden into institutions, customs and law — the systems we live within.
This is the work I do: helping people see the upstream influences on their individual experiences to demystify, de-stigmatise, de-pathologise, and de-personalise anxiety, overwhelm, stress, burnout, and all the too-common crunchy human feels.
When you realise these struggles aren’t personal failings but the result of systemic forces, the world looks (and you feel) rather different.
You stop blaming yourself and start questioning the logic (thoughts of others) that’s been running your life. You begin to see that rest isn’t laziness, that your worth isn’t tied to productivity, and that there’s more to life than meeting impossible demands.
From this place of awareness, there's a chance to get your energy, focus and agency back.
This shift is freeing—it cracks open the door to connection, clarity, and living more in alignment with what truly matters.
But let’s not kid ourselves: Nibby’s systemic creations are still everywhere, baked into the structures we move through daily. No amount of personal insight will single-handedly dismantle a system designed to keep us tired, compliant, and competing.
But fret not. There are glimmers everywhere. When you see the game for what it is, you stop playing by its rules (well, wherever possible). Over time, and depending on what's available to you both internally and externally, you may find ways to rest in defiance of a culture that worships busyness. You might make choices that put you and the people and planet you love first. You might stop wanting to keep up in a system which perpetuates through your compliance and exploitation.
You might remember that your worth isn’t a number or output. In fact, given the statistical absurdity of your entire ancestral line surviving wars, plagues, famines, and finding each other attractive enough to procreate—generation after generation—just so the wild improbability of you could exist… well.
You might remember that your very existence is already an outrageous miracle.
You’re a human being; a soft and slightly hairy expression of the natural world, bound by cosmic rhythms and cycles. You are ridiculously worthy and quite spectacular, just the way you are, living in a system that thrives on making you doubt that every day.
When you stop listening to the goblin, what else do you hear?